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My Grandmother's funeral is today. There is no easy, pretty way of saying something so sad, (believe me, I typed and erased a few times). It's better to just *say it,* and honor the sadness. Now, that is off my chest and I can move on to what a blessing-filled, well-lived life she led.
The First Law of Thermodynamics states that energy is not created or destroyed, it only transforms. The same energies that were here at the creation of the universe (Big Bang? Big God? Both?) still exist in every life form today. Some, like my Grandma, get an abundance of beautiful, grace-filled energy. She seemed to exist to bestow that grace and mercy on everyone else. Even in her last few weeks, whenever she would open her eyes for a few minutes, her words were, "God bless you. I love you." She had been taken down to the base ergs or joules of her energy: love. If I am not overstating the Law of Thermodynamics (and I probably am, but don't care...it makes me feel better!), those energy units have left her body and are making their way around the universe, even as we speak. This brings great comfort to me.
Not only is her "energy" all around me, the results of a well-lived life are, as well. I see them in my daughter, who will not leave my side because I am sad. I see them in my marriage, where I am willing to listen and understand another's viewpoint. I spent many hours sitting in her kitchen, talking, while she cooked for me and listened. I always thought of her as so wise, but now, I have a hard time remembering any specific advice she gave....ah....the wisdom was in the listening. She encouraged me to love unconditionally, be a peacemaker, and to love God above all else.
The pictures attached are of my Grandma "blessing" my children with holy water as we left for Florida. I know that the holy water was only a symbol for her real power - the power to make me feel loved and like I was the only person who existed in the universe. I love you, Grandma, and I will miss you.
